General Barbossa

General Barbossa spent his life giving orders and never receiving any (at least no one who is still alive has ever given him orders). So when we asked him to sit down for the interview, he looked at us with bloodshot eyes… So we sat on his chair, and he remained standing. With his hands crossed behind his back, he waited for us to ask him the questions that he himself had provided.

He is a complex shark to apprehend, defining himself as an onion. You know, that theory of onion layers that says your personality is complex and has multiple levels? It proves that someone tough can, beneath their layers, be tender, or vice versa. Well, General Barbossa sees himself as such. Except, according to him, all his layers are unanimously hard as stone and sharp as a broken bottle.

With General Barbossa, the navy is led by an iron fin. On board the immense aircraft carrier « The Gniylf Namhctud », he trains his troops day and night. Each member of the navy is a super soldier forged in the fires of hell, which are the words of General Barbossa.

A certain Chief Warrant Officer, whom we’ll call « Joli Cœur » to preserve his anonymity, confides in us : He often tells us « If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are *****. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, ******* beings. You are nothing but unorganized ********* pieces of amphibian ****. » , it’s tough, very tough… but I feel much stronger now…

One more insulting word, and we’ll cut that from the editing!